All about choice

Will I eat pasta? From time to time possibly. Will I eat lots of bread like I used to? No I just can't do that anymore. Do I use sugar in coffee and tea? Not anymore.

Something I am learning. Limit those indulgences to really an extreme measure thus they become little morsels of total enjoyment, while making the right choices every day.

Will I still enjoy a piece of cake, cheese cake or pie? At times I will but I usually only chased them at special occasions anyhow so I am not missing much. What about chocolate? Sure I will have that - mainly dark with berries in it. Surprisingly I have found that dark chocolate with raspberries in the bar have much less carbs than just a plain dark chocolate bar. Now of course I, unlike my Uncle, can consume a chocolate bar over the course of a few days, he wolfs it down in 10 seconds.

I find that I am more satiated with proteins and vegetables. Above was last nights dinner after work. A thin steak cooked in a hot skillet (ended up being just over medium), celery, there are also carrots and a little mozzarella sun dried tomato combination. Very fulfilling and refreshing - I really like raw vegetables, or just slightly steamed.

These choices of protein and vegetables was what the nutritionist I had for a couple of months after the strokes taught me. It also matches what Krystal (who has brilliantly lost over 100 lbs) has shown me works in her lifestyle of low-carb. It is what I realize makes me feel so much better inside.

So it is all about choice. When faced with an option you choose. Do you choose something healthy that tastes great and is good for you or do you choose something that is not so healthy that tastes great and is probably not so good for you? I choose the first choice of great and healthy with a reality check that every once in a while I may need my mint chocolate chip ice cream single scoop (not double).

Good day to all.

Freaking weekend

Been an interesting one. But I did get to learn something ... I like morphine. Maybe not a good thing to say but when you are in the hospital and in as much pain as I was in Saturday morning, the nurse comes in and says the doctor said I could give you some morphine. I just lay there and say "that is nice as long as it will" ... (she now has the syringe shooting it in my IV) ... "make me lose the pain .. how long does it take for this to work? I feel warm inside. You are nice." Nurse Jessie, "have you never had morphine before?" Me, "I don't think I ever had ... is this a silly smile on my face." Nurse Chris came in to tell me I have to drink half of the barium solution now and the other half in 30 minutes. Asks me my name ... I say, "I am loopy." He is like, "huh?" Nurse Jesse, "First time on morphine."

Finally at 7 am I get some sleep to be woken up in 30 minutes for the other half of the solution. To be woken up again to get rolled into the CT scan of my abdomen. Finally my favorite doctor (remembered me from a year ago in ER room number 2 - heart incident on March 5, 2009 - go back the to the first postings in this blog) came in to confirm what he had already told me he suspected. Gall bladder. Given drugs (a strength of Vicodin I did not even know existed) and stuff for the stomach and nausea. So crawled to the pharmacy, got meds, crawled home and then took the pain pill. That was pretty much it for Saturday.

On top of that I think I have a sinus infection and have been around too many people with strep this week so first order of business tomorrow is to get an appointment with my doctor. Get him to get the ultrasound and CT scan from the hospital and see where he wants to go with that. Hopefully convince him that I need something to kick this infection and then get on with this week.

All this after I was promoted to IT System Support Manager last Sunday and it was finally made official to my team on Friday (my day off). So it was truly a whirlwind week. I think I will be popping a pain pill here in a few short moments that will cast my into oblivion for a few hours. But some of you will hear about this through others on the coconut wireless so I figured I would lay it all out now.

So here is to a less eventful week ahead. That and a longer Christmas break as I am now truly a member of corporate America with the schedule that coincides with the home office. Wow first true M-F 8-5 job ever.

Peace to all.

Learning and doing

So I spent a couple of weeks reading all and learning what I could about low-carb diets. How to do it right without damaging yourself. The reasons for and those reasons why people dislike it. I came to the conclusion that I have to try. I have to see as it pretty much mimics what my nutritionist, last year after the strokes, asked me to do and what I lost that first 75 lbs with. This allows dairy and more protein in my diet than the nutritionist had and that was one thing that I did miss.

First I purge the apartment of everything that I needed to eat and consume that would not work with this. I still have a few things and I kept sugar here for those visitors who prefer that in their tea or coffee. I still have not made it through one of those 5 lb bricks of sugar in what ... 4 years here. Amazing.

But last week was the first week and tomorrow will be my first week weigh in. I will see.
I have noticed that by looking at everything from bacon to salad dressings to marinara sauce it is hard to find something that does not have sugar in it. Sugar is, or should I say has become, a staple of this culture we live in. You have to look to find the things without it and of course, without and ingredient they cost more ... go figure.

But it is true, I feel, to say that we are addicted to this granular substance. I did well on meeting the goals this first week. I have the issues that many many people have when switching from a diet with carbs to a diet that has only 20 net carbs a day in it ... and I expected them. I was prepared for lack of energy as the body shifts from burning primarily carbohydrates (in the form of glucose) to burning fat (including the fat that is stored in your body) for energy. You are retraining a living organism and it will fight what it has become accustomed to over the years. But if this is the process that is finally forcing me to get between 8-9 hours of sleep a night I will take it.

Back to my thoughts on sugar ... I was tempted with piles of candy on Sunday night (Halloween) with all the little trick or treaters that showed up on the front porch, with costumes and amazingly polite happy attitudes. So I had a single ... little tootsie roll. Oh my goodness. Just 6 days without that sugar made me drool and the urge for more kicked in. It was both scary from a psychological and physiological point of view as it was amazing to realize that there was truth behind what I had been reading.

So I tested that hypothesis with the single tootsie roll at work today ... of course all the left overs were brought in. Once again I had been doing great all day long. Low carb bar for breakfast,  beef and broccoli for lunch, whey protein shake for snack, chicken with veggies for dinner and then the test. Wham ... one tootsie roll set the craving really high for all those candies all over the place. Thankfully I did this test late in the evening so the shift was almost over and I could flee to my resting place, 32 oz of water and healthy stuff.

So I am sure I will have more thoughts on this to share in the future. I have a coach who lost over 100 lbs herself and her husband lost 130 lbs so we shall see where this goes. Yes the doctor is aware ... remember always make sure your doctor is aware and agrees with your choice of action before starting it if you have conditions that have to be monitored.

But for now ... I keep watching my carbs and staying away from sugar.

3 months already???

Quarterly checkup today … yep another 3 months gone on by and blood work pulled last week. Actually it was a little bit on the scary side as the blood was pulled the day after I had a scare with blood loss. I guess that I am really aware when I lose blood now as I am on an anti-coagulant and will be for life. With that when I have an opportunity to lose blood I have an opportunity to lose lots of blood. Scary.

But got to sit down with the doctor today and go over my results. Talk about what has happened in the last couple of months, what is going on but today I was impressed. When I mentioned one of my concerns he counter offered with an option to write a prescription for a muscle relaxer (just 10). I countered with the fact that even though some people may think that I take choose to take hard core drugs when things are bad I do not.

Now let me step to the side and quantify that last statement above. Yes, if you would have asked me in the early 90’s or in 2005 if I took the strongest medicines I could get my hands on I would say yes. The 90’s my sinuses were so screwed up and the pain was intense. I popped pain pills like nobody’s business. In 2005 the ruptured disc in my back [done in 1988] finally shifted and sawed the heck out of the left leg nerve bundle. To sleep, I literally had to stand in the corner of the room and lean on my right shoulder. That was horrible. When they offered to shoot my spine up with pain drugs, even though I could have been paralyzed for life, I did not hesitate to say PLEASE!

So I had countered with the fact that I know I have done things in the past that have stressed my kidneys and liver out. I really have been working on eliminating drugs and have gone from 7 daily meds to 5 and cut two of them in half, as far as strength goes, and do not want to add more. I like life. So he countered with almost an hour of going over each level of what he tested in the blood work, comparison to what he has on record for me since 2007 and well showed me why he suggest what he suggests and why he listens to me when I counter.

That kind of relationship is hard to come by in the medical profession. To be able to interact with a doctor that has a prescribed amount of patients to meet due to insurance companies. To have a doctor tell you that you are wrong and justify it. To have him say that he is wrong and this is why he thinks I am right. No ego there. Just open talk. Someone who I am not fearful of discussing concerns with of any type nor will he be fearful of telling me the honest truth from where he sits. He will not prescribe medicine without cause and I especially like that he will not prescribe antibiotics for those things that do not need them. (i.e. we discussed today how people request antibiotics for colds and colds are viruses … antibiotics work on bacteria … thus why? … because advertising scares people into wanting what they do not need)

This discussion today highlighted the 2 levels of study done on the kidneys and their ability to be active and filter what needs to be filtered. I am well within the norms. The liver. Well within the norm. Blood sugar levels. Have been borderline for 3 years but I have maintained or decreased that. Further weight loss will be the key here to make them back off from the edge of being pre-diabetic. The blood cells themselves are in great shape. Right count in the number of blood cells which countered a thought that I might have had so much blood loss due to bleeding ulcer (not good for someone on anti-coagulant). No anemia. No deficiencies in all levels tested. Cholesterol remains great at 155. But more importantly it raised only due to the fact that my HDL went from 36 to 46. Phew. That lower than 40 number is not good at all for HDL. Now it is getting closer to where I would be happy but the doc is overjoyed that in 3 months I could move it 10 points.

So now we maintain and improve. I had my flu shot. I declined the muscle relaxant. Continued with the nasal steroid as the allergy season is intense upon us here in north Texas. Acknowledged that I have been at plateau too long at this weight and need to focus on moving that needle in the get off pre-diabetes watch list.Continue to watch what I eat, work on paying attention more to my bodies indicators and most poignantly from my doctor ... enjoy life.

Time for the Summer Cold Blues

How to Cope With a Summer Cold

There's nothing worse than coping with a summer cold. Summer colds have a way of ruining vacations and making you completely miserable. A few simple steps will help speed your recovery and help you stay a little more comfortable while you're sick.

Instructions

• Step 1 Take extra vitamin C at the onset of a summer cold and throughout the illness. Vitamin C boosts the immune system, making it better able to fight off the nasty virus causing your misery.

• Step 2 Drink plenty of water. Water will help you stay hydrated during your bout with a summer cold.

• Step 3 Stay at home. If you have sick time, use it. No one at the office will appreciate you bringing your germs to work, so stay at home and take it easy.

• Step 4 Use steroidal nasal sprays when necessary. Don't overdo these medications because they can actually cause your nose to become painfully dry. When properly used, these sprays will help minimize your symptoms.

• Step 5 Use a heating pad to help alleviate some of the pain in your face and head. If you can stand the additional heat in the middle of summer, heating pads help with pain from nasal and sinus congestion.

• Step 6 Take over the counter medication as needed, but, like the nasal spray, don't overdo this medication. Taking medications like Sudafed or Tylenol Cold will help alleviate the symptoms, but don't mistake this for the summer cold going away. It's not gone, so don't be surprised when your symptoms return after the medication wears off.

• Step 7 Suck on cough drops to ease the pain in your throat. The nastier they taste, the better they work, generally.

Cardiologist

So yesterday morning, at like the edge of the witching hour in the morning, I remembered that Sarah had called me at work (the end of last week) and said Dr. Malik had called her to let me know that my appointment had been moved to Tuesday morning. I never wrote that down so I am shocked at 2 in the morning I woke up and remembered. Although I thought 10:30 ... showed up at 9:55 and it was supposed to be 9:30. OOPS!

Had no idea why my heart doctor needed me there and neither did they. Eventually after much prodding and probing into the books we determined that it was just the annual follow up. Hmmm have catheters and what not shoved in arteries, scoping out right ventricles and atrium, checking the passageways trying to find a PFO that contributed to the strokes, never to be found and guess what you have a specialist in your world for life. Yippee.

EKG was done with some really cool sticky things that actually had a little tab on them so when my nurse was done she just pulled that tab and they released. She did not have to shave parts of my torso - thank God cos that ends up itching like the dickens and I really do not want to be scratching the torso at Tammy's family reunion when lots of these people will be meeting me for the first time (oh the pressure of that but I am not going there ... yet). But that was so cool.

So EKG showed that I am still an abnormal but normal person. Essentially the same abnormalities in my readings that have existed over a few but show nothing abnormal in the operation of my heart are just all the same as they have been and will be. Huh? Yeah that is what I think.

Heart sounds - okie dokie.
Lung sounds - okie dokie.
Artery sounds - okie duh dokie.
Extremity blood flow - peachy. (hmmm never thought of red blood as peachy but OK)

So I check out. Continue to lose weight, exercise, control cholestrol and get a stress test. I look at him and say "I work - is that not enough" Just kidding doc I have had those and I know. See you in a year.

Well that was nice. I think. Then again I assumed that my heart was still beating as I am still here. :)

My Stroke of Insight

Today I read a book that I purchased in April (or the very end of March) but have had yet to open. I am not sure why but I think I was afraid of what might be in there.

Cover via Amazon

My Stroke of Insight is a powerful look at the stroke from the inside out. Jill Bolte Taylor is a scientist of the brain who suffered a huge stroke and took 8 years to recover, as she states, fully.

There is so much in this book that let me know and understand what I experienced and is unnerving in what a larger stroke could do. I need to go back and read again. Look at the areas that resonated with my experience and thinking.

Then I found this wonderful talk from her filmed in 2008. She is discussing her stroke on the left side of the brain. I am in awe that this woman speaking is the same one who lost the left side of the brain for some time.

(Note there is a real brain shown in this video for those whom might be weak in the knees. It is completely unattached from a human but could be wrong for some of those reading or watching)

Update: The last 2 minutes of this nearly 19 minute long video are, to me, the most profound.

From my dad

For the rest of my life there are two days
that will never again trouble me.
The first day is yesterday with all
its blunders and tears, its follies and defects.
Yesterday has passed forever beyond my control.

The other day is tomorrow with its pitfalls and threats,
its dangers and mystery.
Until the sun rises again,
I have no stake In tomorrow,
for it is still unborn.

With God's help and only one day to concentrate
all my effort and energy on,
this day, I can win.

~ Og Mandino

Today's Affirmation

In this moment, I am at peace.

Today's Meditation

Dear God,

Today is a gift
and I am so very grateful.
All of my needs are met.
There is peace in my heart
and a deep sense of connection
to the people around me.
Today, I am mindful of people
who are facing medical challenges,
and the professionals
who work in the medical field.
May both the patients
and care providers
be aware of Your healing presence.
In Your name, I bless them all.

Amen