Lapses in memory

A scheduled outage at 2:00 AM. I am glad that there is a reminder on the dashboard page and on this page where I create the post. Because without reminders I am nothing now. My absent minded state is either getting worse or just being noticed more by me as I fumble through life.

I forgot to pay rent this month. I was reminded many times but still forgot to pay it until it was necessary as it had to be in the drop box before midnight. There I went walking down to the office with half of the other residents at 11:30 at night to drop a check in the night deposit box.

I forget where I put things all the time, always have. I walk out of one room and 15 minutes later remember why. This can be quite annoying or quite entertaining depending on how you look at it. But in light of all that has happened I am glad that I remembered to call today. I am glad that I remembered to call and set up a consultation for tomorrow morning as I am so totally unsure of where to go next.

Money is hanging like a dramatic bomb over my head poised to drop and extinguish my world as I know it. Fear lurks around the corner every once in a while peaking out its faithful head and giving me a wink that says you better worry boy. Uncertainty cracks the stepping stones of life ahead of me so I am unsure at times which path to take. Frustration sometimes spins the cats in the cradle around my fingers causing them to fumble. In this menagerie of happenstance my brain forgets to go to bed, to drink water while at work, to bring a meal, to plan ahead and to remember some of the important things.

Sometimes I don't know where to go and how to get there, sometimes the fog on the road ahead parts and a path is illuminated. Sometimes I just need help, sometimes I wish I did not need help. Sometimes is .... a word, a choice, a reason, an excuse, a time, a non time and at times I don't like sometimes.

Tomorrow morning we shall see. Tonight is now.

Good night.