Just a matter of time

Well dad made it home Thursday. Amazingly on the flight over no one was in the row with him or the row in front. As a matter of fact, he told mum, there were a lot of empty seats on the plane. So the eight our trip was uneventful and smooth. He was able to get up a few times and walk around - do his exercises less that disc in his back give him lots of grief.

My Uncle Gerald met him at the airport and they had a spot of tea or coffee and then the drive from London to Norwich. They went straight over to see grandma. She was there and she knew who he was. So Thursday she was cognizant of who her son was. She had not eaten any food for almost 3 weeks and had a morphine drip. Still at home with home care there in the morning and evening and one of her four children there during the day.

Now the nurses from home care have to stay with her overnight. She was waiting for dad to get home. We all knew she was. She was aware, as I mentioned, of whom he was on Thursday, on Friday she had only a couple of oz of liquid and still knew him, today she was in the bed the entire day with her eyes closed almost all day. She was, and this is second hand information, not seemingly aware of much around her and a couple of comments issued from her mouth that ... were they dreams coming forth or is reality slipping away.

On the phone with mum this afternoon, evening there, I think the enormity of this hit my father and through the tears he hoped that his mum would go soon. The doctors think it will be any day now. This is not something anyone wants to contemplate but it is a reality so many of us must face at some point in our life.

I find these things out when I go calling for the information. Much of this information would eventually make it to me but who knows when. Thus I find out this after spending 20 minutes on the phone with my brother and then another 40 minutes with mum. Thus it is 10:40 at night and I sit in the living room thinking how does one deal with this type of information when the only people around that he knows and loves are asleep.

So I sit here ... sharing with the internet. Is that good or bad? I don't know. I was thinking this morning that most of my friends are women. My best friend is a beautiful lady with a wonderful little girl.

There are times that I want to share things with someone but may be on a topic that I wonder about ... the proper nature of man and woman that was drilled into me in an upright era growing up in England. With an era from just before my time that enforced the man does not have emotion and thus I wonder if the rage that is built up in the men my father's age is not a result of repressed emotions from years past.

Then again if emotion was displayed it was in private and being the young boy growing up there I would not have seen this, being four hours away when my grandfather died I do not know what processes my family went through. By the time we had the funeral in Norwich two or so weeks later there were minimal tears and maybe all the grieving was done, or maybe it was repressed.

Regardless, now it is just a matter of time. My grandmother had her last wish fulfilled I believe. To see her son. Her first born there to say "hello mum, I love you" and let her know that it is now in her hands.

It is always just a matter of time.

Good night friends, good night fellow bloggers, good night internet.