Where to put this

... I chose here. Life continues and for many it is the daily grind. For me today it started with a challenge ... where is my phone Maximillian? (for those of you following me on facebook or who recognized the robot from The Black Hole in the previous post ... you know what I am talking about)

Found it after much deliberate searching of the bedroom. When I had fallen over last night I guess it shot out of my hand and somehow wedged between the crossbeam and the mattress face down so the keys were depressed thus rapidly draining what juice was left in it. Thus the alarm never went off this morning and it was not until I felt like ripping apart furniture did this become apparent.

I had then planned to do some work online from home. Nope .. I need a day off that is not a medical day. So I went out to see if my left arm (the broken one) can support my Canon yet. It can. Took some photos and then ended up at Sarah's house to get the scoop on little Eve and also grab a late lunch.

Here are some phone shots of Eve's future wardrobe ... too cute.

I love the dragon behind the peace symbol. I would wear this ... 

gotta loose a whole lotta weight to do that though. 

(and shrink)

I love the koi and the "Golden Luck Trading Co." 

But all of this let me to thinking. See Eve was not moving and mommy was slowly getting more and more stressed which caused me concern, eventually she called her friend and confidant, got some sound advice and voila ... Eve was back in business again letting mommy know just who was in charge of this womb space!!!

Then I went to church. A family of four sat in front of me. Mom, dad, a six or seven year old and a few month old. Dad held the littlest one almost the entire time and mom was using her finger in the hymnal and readings to highlight the words being said as the young girl next to here was following in her own book but would get lost, look over to where mom's finger was and be able to follow right along with her own book again.

This was a blast from the past .... where had I run into this church and families before:

But before this sermon, before church even began there was this young couple that came in with a baby who was only a few months old. She was precious but it was in watching her father and her interact that made me realize why my brother is so torn with these rules of visitation and how much he sacrificed when he could have fought to protect his children. This little girl was held mostly by the father. His hands cradled her and were so gentle yet so protective. She was the quietest of children just sitting on her father’s crossed legs watching everything. Every once in a while she would turn towards him and check on him then go back to watching the people during service. But it was the father’s actions, the smile that was one of awe every time he looked at his daughter. She would be sitting there with his one arm in ready protective mode around her and he would look at her and just tentatively and oh so lovingly touch her - as if saying are you real, are you really here, are you really my daughter and it was so evident that he would do anything for his little girl - it was unconditional love that she had stolen from his heart. It made me cry inside for my brother as I know he would step in front of a speeding train to save his daughters.

(February 10, 2008 from Pips Paradigm)

There was also the baptism of Noah at this service by Fth. Tom. Life everywhere around me. New life. Living in the moment. I looked up at the crucifix and was drawn to ask a question in my mind. The answer was instantaneous and clear as a bell. Never before have I been struck like that with a clear answer but this was my epiphany today. No I am still trying to digest what it means and cannot, in good conscience put that up there right now. Suffice to say the rest of the service was spent with me periodically looking at the altar and having tears run down my face and I questioned my sanity and then His sanity too. I cut that out pretty quickly as He still has the power to throw lightning bolts at me (I think).

It is all part of repairing ourselves I believe. We have something recalcitrant happen in our lives and we have to deal with it. We cannot avoid it less it remove us prematurely from this life. As we learn and repair or repair and learn we live a new life, a different life than before. I am renewing parts of my world that had been left in shambles or not maintained for years. I am proceeding with my annulment in the Catholic Church regarding a marriage of shambles. I have changed much about whom I was and am now becoming me. Today I was allowed to live. Today I was allowed to experience life. Today I had an epiphany. Today I learned there is much much more to learn.