Shuffling the deck

Momentary panic today. I found a couple of times where I could not say the correct word....or was it that I could not find the correct word in my memory bank so the mouth just started to say the next closest thing that it could.

Stop ... am I having another stroke. Everything else is working as it should an this too shall pass. What do I do? Do I rush in for an emergency room visit or have I learned enough that I start to do a mental checklist and if I get to two failures then I get moving. I have to do the second or I would be in a constant state of panic.

But it has been a few days since a serious post about health and all that.

Last week we went to schedule a follow up MRI. Two reasons - the contrast part did not work as it was supposed to and they want to see if there is progression or regression of the damaged areas. Plus I guess we should be honest and say "looking to see if there is anything new".

But they needed some blood work done and that was taken care of the next day. 24 hours later and I get the results:

The results of your recent tests are explained below:

Kidney Tests: Good -- no changes needed
Electrolytes: Good -- no changes needed

Comments: Blood sugars are continuing to get lower when labs are drawn.

Wow....I got a comment in that report. But that is good as I was on the borderline of diabetes so to have the glucose dropping is a good thing. Lets see...alot of raw veggies, protein and very limited wheat products, carbs and pretty much no dairy. I better see that damn number going down.

Plus I have been consistently getting 4 days at the gym and I would say 3 out of 5 weeks getting 5 days at the gym. That is good progress from a guy that went for a while and then NEVER for a few years. Consistency is good.

Weight goes up and down but mostly down and that is why I do not worry about it. Now at the 365 mark from 425. So I am not unhappy with that progress. I have gone from the last hole on the belt to the point of needing a new bigger belt to the 4th hole and sometimes that is a little bit loose. One day it will be the 5th hole and the 6th hole....and you know what that is a good guage for me.

I am not counting anything just trying to make mostly right decisions. I cannot do that yet. I would have mental break downs over that and I am not going to get frustrated with myself for not meeting a certain point. I have a simple plan: get my veggies, get my fruit and get my protein and I am OK.

I don't allow myself to feel guilty when something changes...that is life. I had pizza yesterday at work as we just wanted to get things done and I have not been to a grocery store since I got back from vacation. Thus the fridge is bare and I had no groceries but money was bare too. The same for all of us so we scrapped together some change and got the Dominos ultimately cheap pizza deal.

I need to write a list....sorry I have to put these thoughts down less I forget.....and go to the store.

So now I wait for Horizons MRI to call me. Then the haggling over time will start as I need a Friday or Saturday schedule because I have to take medicine to be able to do this. Yep shove a severely claustrophobic person in even an open MRI and guess what .... anxiety skyrockets, blood vessels explode as the heart goes into overdrive palpatations. It ain't a pretty sight.

So I shuffle my deck of cards waiting by the phone for the man to call.

See ya