Could not get motivated for anything this evening. No exercise, no cleaning, no writing, no reading. I do not like me when I am like this. I feel trapped in my own mind. Screaming to be let out. Yet fearful of what that might mean.
Slowly beginning to calm down. Slowly coming back to earth. Soon the sweet bliss of night time slumber will take over and then hopefully the dreams are peaceful tonight. They have not been the last three, maybe four, nights. Something is churning in the subconscious and I will figure it out eventually.
Thus I take my less anxious self to bed. Good night world. "Good night Philip"
See ya
****UPDATE
I hate that medicine. This morning I lost track of time twice. Once after getting out of the shower and starting to get dressed for work. About 30 minutes later I come back into reality and am wondering why I am sitting there. Then I leave for work and need to swing by the store on my way in. I go to the store and then go home. Am there for 15 minutes before I realize I am supposed to be going to work. 12 hours....that stuff lasts 12 hours and people pop that daily. How can they do that? To me that is insane to spend you whole life in that state.
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wow, I know... those pills are horrible...
ReplyDeletethe only advise I have for you is... when you have days like that (not wanting to do anything)... just let it be, let yourself feel exactly what you are feeling, because you can't always pull yourself out of those moods and stressing over it makes things only worse, if you were feeling that way... then that's exactly what your body needed at that moment. I'd only get concerned if it becomes an everyday thing... don't stress over it too much.. ok?
smile :)
I try not to stress over too much. I get frustrated more than stressed and frustration is easier to deal with as you can get the a simple point in the event where you realize that you are foolish and it is what it is and boom frustration is gone.
ReplyDeleteStress....I had many people over the years teach me many ways to deal with and it is only when I cannot use any of those techniques to help ease it that I get ... well extreme anxiety is what I call it. Usually I let it go but yesterday I was feeling an overwhelming dread that warned me that there would be no chance of escape from what was to come.
BUT...in light of this morning I will have to be beyond that before I do that again.
you know... just from reading your respond... it's clear that you have a handle on it... my mom-in-law who's been sick most of her life..always tells me..."you have to be your own doctor... got to know yourself really good" so it looks like you're on top of it. glad you got to work out today :)
ReplyDelete