Sharing some thoughts

I want to share a couple of parts from My Stroke of Insight that resonated with me.

"My ability to cognate was erroneously assessed by how quickly I could recall information, rather than by how my mind strategized to recover the information that it held."

This was how I felt when trying to write, when trying to form sentences that made sense in my head until I could not remember the word that needed to come next, that made me realize people could not understand me as I was slowly slurring my speech but it sounded clear to me.

"The biggest lesson I learned that morning was that when it came to my rehabilitation, I was ultimately the one in control of the success or failure for those caring for me. It was my decision to show up or not."

This is so true and it was my fight to be heard that nothing was being done about that led to the eventual diagnosis that I had a stroke. It was my self that crawled into a hole for a few days after that processing the information and just trying to live. Finally it was my self that came out and said we need to do something about this and get back on track. What can be done? How do I do it? What do I need to do immediately? Why did this happen? Where do we go from here?

"For the next few days following the stroke, my stamina waxed and waned proportionately with my napping and exerted effort. I learned that every effort I put forth was the only effort that was important."

Even though there has never been a time line of when my stroke occurred reading this made me think of something and make my own decision. I knew something was occuring on the 3rd of March....it had been going on slowly and silently since the 19th of February. I beleive these were possibly TIAs. Then on the 6th in the hospital for what they diagnosed a heart event I was put under critical pressure and rushed into a situation that I had not had time to deal with. My brain was frantic and they had to stop my body shaking with drugs. Nothing came of this except family and friends rushing to my side and then three days where I did not much but sleep and then was going to sleep early for the next couple of weeks.

Cover via Amazon

I believe that the stress I went through was the catalyst for the stroke that occured in my thalamus. I know that we all thought that my excessive sleeping was from the catheter invasion but I know think back and there were so many things that I just could not deal with. The strain of trying to work through these made me tired. My sleeping was my bodies attmept to conserve energy for the necessary functions while it tried to figure out what was going on.

There is more in this book to come but I thought that I would share those now. I think I have a better handle of what happened to my brain and why I had issues trying to get those I was talking to to understand what was occurring.