Monthly Affirmation

may I be I is the only prayer - not may I be great or good or beautiful or wise or strong. ~e.e. cummings

Friday, September 16, 2011


Tis with heavy heart that I say good bye the week that has past. Heavy because of all the band aids holding it together. Wow. It has been a pricy week full of material destruction and personal brick walls. But it is at an end.

It was not the theft of the prescription sunglasses and Garmin device that hindered my week. Lord knows what else was in my car that was stolen that I have not recognized yet that began my Monday with a flourish. Neither was it the little matter of the fact that to do this they pulverized my window to pieces. No it was that the yellow roses withered in my office due to the fact that I could not get to where I needed with them in time due to the previously mentioned annoyances that placed and aura of frustration over the beginning of the week.

Oh well. After that point it became a roller coaster of delightful instances mixed with climatic issues for the rest of the week. I think I posted a little accordance of this thing called life on facebook as: "A chaotic cacophony of choices leads to obfuscatingly obscure occurrences and hugely hilarious happenstance. Wait, isn't that life?"

Geico was remarkably easy to deal with and set up everything for me in regards to the car. Only a slight smidgen of expense there. While setting this up I thought about the fact that if they wear my prescription sunglasses they might get a headache. This made me smile.

While I left my car at work in the capable hands of the companies fleet of security personnel, sometimes they find themselves challenged to find a simple pen but surely they could not misplace a small SUV, I found delight in my friends that came to my aid. Who sheltered my wounded soul (boy am I milking this or what) in a ride home and then an angelic presence coaxed me out of my house to a session of activity in the gym.

Tis nice to have friends that will gladly drag you around the city and escort you to devices designed to accelerate your heartbeat into catastrophic levels so that you feel alive. Seriously I love it. I do.

Then Wednesday came around. Deep sigh. The day passed with trepidation about the late afternoon adventure. How have the eyes fared? Alas the ability to register light continues to dim slightly, slowly, ever so slowly stripping away my sight. So now we begin to work on a process of hindering the damage that my oh so sensitive pale blue eyes from a northern climb suffer from in aspect to light. Especially sunlight.

Upon hearing my tale of invasion and loss of my glasses the kind ladies of the center took pity on this mortal soul. Your plan will not cover it but we will slash the price ... not 40% not 50% but something higher. The necessary polarized lenses and frame squeaked down to the margin of right at $200 and I believe that was close to 60% off. In light of what I had just learned I had to do it. Shifting finances will be the next course of action.

But they know I am a photographer as a passion. We took some goofy shots in the darkened den ... they get a kick out of my twisted flirting. The giggles and smiles I illicit from these wonderful ladies just makes me smile. It is either smile or cry. The tears can be hid in the kleenex given to wipe the dyes out of they eye they have used to see the scaring and sun damage.

So we trudge wearily into Thursday. Car fixed. Glasses ordered. Just help me get through the day and the aches of the grueling circuit routine from the gym the night before. Had to get out that fear of going blind in the gym .. both a good and bad option. I was only supposed to do 6 minutes in that last session on the bike and I think I got to almost three times that. Focus ... well that was the issue my mind collapsed inward and focused on something, blocking out all else.

Now Friday is here and fading quickly soon to become yesterday. I met Canada today in all her glory ... both the good and the bad. Started early this morning but finally after 12 hours we won for the moment. At one point I think I posted in the groups im thread "orchestrating chaos can be totally exhausting". But the day is done. Dinner invitation for the weekend was accepted yet not finalized. The stumbling block was do I drive over to the northern realms of the twin city or does she saunter on down here.

I have lost my ability to deal with directions since the stroke. I guess that is one of the realities of having your perception center scrambled for a while. I have come to depend upon the Garmin to assist with direction in those realms I infrequently travel. Ah but I was violated in that aspect earlier in the week by some cretin whose mamma is so proud of right now.

So on a whim and knowing that I had to eventually get a new one I ventured into a store that holds the key to removing money from my wallet. Best Buy. To my amazement ... yes I was truly amazed ... I found a NUVI 1450LMT (that is lifetime maps and traffic updates) that was almost $100 off.

It was like those 12 or so people who lifted a car off of the motorcyclist at the beginning of the week - or the friends who approached me about making sure I had the ability to get where I needed without me asking - or those ladies slicing the price of the glasses for me to save my eyesight - or my Gecio representative on Monday who went out of her way to tell me it was only going to be fifty dollars and all I needed to do was let her handle it ... It was the capper on amazing that I had been the recipient of and witnessed through out the week.

I had to get it. I need to know how to get where I am going. It has a larger screen than the others I have had, which is probably a good thing in light of my eyes. I even bought a little traveling case to keep it in so I can take it with me. Plus I just updated the lifetime maps and software.

So it was a week. So maybe the entire week has made my heart heavy with a fair amount of love and kindness band aids as well as the essential leaps and hurdles of life's abrupt lessons this week. It was only material issues, those accoutrements of my world, that were destroyed or lost and the little hiccups in my well being are going to be addressed. I have my eye drops, I have my shades coming and I have my marching orders. I can potentially hold in stasis right now, probably unable to reverse but who knows what medicine will give me in the future.

Chin up. Soft smile on the face. Love in the heart.

Good night. Aloha.


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"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly." – Buddha