Vibes

Last night, actually yesterday afternoon early evening time, I had that strange feeling that something was not alright. I did all my mental checklists yet the feeling persisted and when it came time to go to bed I knew it was not a worry about me but something was not right. There was a vibe of uneasiness, a sense that something was out of kilter.

I sometimes hate that ability I have to pick up on things that I really don't need to know about but also do need to know about. But this one was made clear this afternoon with a phone call to my parents. It was snowing outside, kinda of senseless to go anywhere. Just finished cooking up lunch and rearranging the freezer. So while watching the snow fall I called dad. His answer to the phone told me something was up. It is my grandmother. His mother. Kidneys are failing. She has decided it is time to move on.

Let's review the little hiccup in being able to do anything about this. She is in England with my uncle and two aunts and we are here in the US. So now dad is hoping she will hold on. Trying to get a ticket home. Last time I was home was with him Christmas of 2007 to bury his father, my grandfather. This time I venture he is going to have to go alone.

Never easy. Is it supposed to be hard? I sometimes wonder about that. But she is well into her 90's and has battled diabetes for thirty or more years. I just hope she is able to hang on long enough for dad to get there. It is his mother. I know that I really don't want to consider the loss of my mother but this is now all real for him.

Hang on grandma, your oldest born is coming home.

See these vibes are sometimes left alone but when they impact me, well they can never be left alone.