I have just figured it out. Fear.
Fear that I will have another stroke. Stroke victims face this reality ... 18% have another stroke within 5 years.
Fear that I will not recognize what is happening to me. That is why I blog. Why I am constantly reading and testing myself. Why I ask everyone who knows me to just try and pay attention to me. My brother was the first honest one who told me that I was slurring and sounded funny on the phone. Did everyone else just pass that off as me? Therefore ...
Fear that others around me will not notice that there has been a change in me and not for the best.
Fear that I am not making changes as fast as I need to keep that chance at 18% and decreasing with the actions I am taking for myself.
I think I really need to find a stroke group to talk to. I have looked before and I have been unsuccessful here. But I think I have come as far as I can go in the realm of dealing with these fears and need to talk to others who have gone through this. One of the reasons I love my dentist is he has gone through this. He as recovered most of his motor skills and is able to be a dentist. Therefore he is very aware of his limitations and we have discussions when I am there about the world of strokes. I trust him in this subject for he has gone through this. So I think I need to find more people like me.
You can only help me so far and I appreciate all that you do - seriously you all do help. Don't get me wrong here but there are days when I just need to talk to someone who has gone through a stroke, or dealt with a stroke survivor and can relate on a level where I hope none of you ever have to.
Forgive me I am not a strong fighter this evening ... rather I am a man, feeling like a little boy, standing on the edge of a precipice wondering if he can ... if he can fight it off. he can. HE can. HE CAN. Right now though he just needs.
http://www.lifeclinic.com/focus/stroke/risk_survey.asp
ReplyDeleteTransient Ischemic Attacks, also called TIAs or mini-strokes, are brief episodes of stroke symptoms that usually last for only a few minutes. Unlike stroke, TIAs do not result in permanent brain damage. TIAs should never be ignored! More than one-third of all people who experience TIAs will go on to have a stroke. If you have already had a stroke, you may be up to ten times more likely to have another.
Call 911 if you see or experience any of the following symptoms: Sudden numbness or weakness of face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body; Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding; Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes; Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination; Sudden severe headache with no known cause. Stroke is a medical emergency. Treatment can be more effective if given quickly.
Regular doctor visits can help diagnose these problems and help present a stroke before it happens. These stroke risk factors can be managed by lifestyle changes and/or medical care.
Detection and management of stroke risk factors are the best ways to lower your personal risk for stroke. If you answered yes to any of the questions on this form, you may be at increased risk for stroke. If any of the controllable risk factors listed apply to you, National Stroke Association recommends a visit to your doctor to discuss your individual risk and develop a treatment plan.
Used with permission of the National Stroke Association. 1-800-STROKES(800-787-6537) _ www.stroke.org