In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit - Lord I ask you to walk with me and protect me as I face my nemesis, one more challenging than death itself. I tremble in anguish as I face this fear yet need has necessitated that I enter the dreaded mall. I have mapped out all entrances and exits oh Lord and I ask that you help me resist the urge to strangle shoppers with no thought for none but themselves. I only ask that if my loved ones who read this do not hear from me in three hours they begin a search of all area police stations and hospitals. With your blessing Lord to battle I go!
Responses:
- Sorry... but LMAO!!!!
- Turn on the GPS. I'll leave right now and head your way. I'm bringing the Navy Seals with me. We will get you out. We never leave a man behind!!!!!
- I know; people are so rude. Deep breaths. Remember what you have to be grateful for. You are free to go shopping, wherever and whenever you want. I am Santa for three girls and have to buy for them and somehow go shopping without them. To me, you are lucky. Try to have fun and enjoy!
- Ok so I was laughing too but at least I left u an encouraging mssg! I still believe in you! :-D
Survival update:
Lord I thank you in that my commando raid may have been unsuccessful and bore no fruit for the pain and suffering endured but I did emerge relatively quickly and unmarked. With the support of my one brother laughing his ass off at me, the other one sending out the seals and my beloved lamenting over the fact that she needs to lock her three girls in the house so she can actually begin shopping - I made it. Phew.
Yes I have worked in retail for years yet I still to this day find myself tensing up when crossing the threshold into a mall (open or closed) and I actually end up feeling nausea and actually find myself constantly on the verge of an anxiety attack. This is actually agrophobia in the true sense of the word. The word "agoraphobia" is an English adoption of the Greek words agora (αγορά) and phobos (φόβος), literally translated as "a fear of the marketplace". This translation is the reason for the common misconception that agoraphobia is a fear of open spaces, and is not clinically accurate. But that is for me to deal with and has actually developed since I began in retail over 20 years ago ... so maybe from my days in the non corporate side of retail that I developed an opinion of shoppers and the strategies of sellers that just have made me a non shopper. Oh well. But I survived today and that is good.
wow... i needed a good laugh, thanks... i love how you went all into it with explaining what agoraphobia is etc... too funny, i worked in a mall for 3 years too some time ago..and hated every minute of it... i don't shop...thank goodness for gift cards :)
ReplyDeleteGlad I could shed the humor in which I face one of my ever so often trials. I have done the GC years but needed this year to have some substance in the handful of gifts I bought for my beloved and her children.
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That, my dear, is why brilliant people created teh internets in all their tubular glory. That, and donations to charity in non-kid-folks' names. Glad you survived unscathed. (I assume you became immune to your brother's laughter years ago.)
ReplyDeleteAh the fact that I sent that to my brothers hoping that they would laugh their asses off is what made it alright for me. Thank you and no I need to make a donation to a charity in non-kid-folks' names. :)
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