Looking inside

Introspection. Do you take time to look at yourself and reflect? Do you realize whom you are and where you are going? Do you marvel at the processes that make up the you whom you are? Are you humbled by the reality that you body is formed by millions upon millions of specialized cells with specific tasks making you read these sentences?

I sometimes sit and think...it is probably as I paid attention in the biology and psychology classes, maybe it has to do with my ex taking the anatomy courses and having Gray's Anatomy laying around. Whatever it is I know too much about what goes on inside and sometimes sit and marvel over the fact of what just happened when I took a breath. Where did that air go and what happened to it when it got there? What the pathways it took after that to get to where it was going next? How that air fired off the processes my body needed to have happening to keep on going.

Maybe it is as I have learnt so much more after having these strokes. I never knew that the lungs were also filters that broke down the smaller clots that travel into our hearts from various parts of the body. I am now more knowledgeable about what parts of the brain do what. I feel as if I have a better understanding of the heart to head processes than I did before. I have seen into my heart and head with open eyes and then sat back mystified over the processes that make us who we are.

Where does out identity come from. Introspection can be an interesting process. How did I get here and how do I escape from this reality I have created? Is there a way to truly repair the damages I have done and can I reverse to processes that are in play now?

Introspection. The answer here is we are whom we are by the basis of our being, the totality of our actions, our beliefs in reality and morality. We can do whatever we chose to do and if we are able to we can change the processes that we find ourselves in we can chose that road. Sometimes the reality is insurmountable and we can only learn what we can and pass on to others. Thus the true testament to whom we are is realized by ourselves and those with whom we share.

Turn the mirror inside and see whom you really are. Take stock and make the decisions you need to make. Learn what you can and continue to challenge your way of thinking. Look deep and find the real you. Embrace and love yourself and do what you need to do daily. Realize your self worth and allow others to realize that you are an important integral part of their world.

Do not conform because you have to, rather conform because you want to. Be you. Be real. Accept the day and whom you are in this day for the reality of today.

Image by Pip's Paradigm via Flickr

Today I am a man on a journey. I have travelled different roads from my family of origin, upheld some high standards while letting others slip. I found myself faced with my own mortality and did not want the choice to be only that at this time. Thus I am that man on a journey to change some of the standards that left me and I allowed to be replaced by others....gluttony and greed must go. I am real. I know that it will take time and time is all I can give outside of a concerted effort. I do not know how much time I have but for what I do have I will continue to improve upon the goodness in me and clear out those aspects of me that do not conform to the me whom I want to be.

I am me. I am an obese bald 40 year old man with a damaged brain and a will to live. I love the life I have been given and the people whom are in it. I will become a 41 year old man later this year with a slightly less weighty body than I have now. I have begun to tone and develop muscles that have been dormant for years. I love the water and feel at peace when I am by it. I have been loved and one day will allow myself to love again if I have the opportunity. In a years time I will be a slimmer almost 42 year old man with a slightly damaged brain loving the life he has been given and celebrating in the reality of the world around him and the people in his life.

Introspection. I am a stroke survivor who faces the reality that another stroke is possible but chose to change the who I was to have the stroke and work on the who I can be to avoid the next stroke.

Introspection. I am me.

Peace and love to all of you.